Letter: No partying at my funeral please

Having lunch at a restaurant recently, part of it was taken over by a large wake.

Most of those attending seemed to be dressed more for a party or the beach than a funeral, and I wondered just how much thought was being given to the deceased with everyone stuffing their faces, the drinks flowing non-stop, loud chatter and occasional shrieks of laughter.

Yes, I’m old so have probably outdated ideas on the matter and I certainly wouldn’t want my own funeral to be all doom and gloom but would hope that whoever bothers to turn up for it will spare a bit of time to actually remember me, perhaps experience some sense of loss, and wish me well on my journey into the unknown.

The apparent ‘in’ thing these days is to observe a funeral as a celebration of life. Fair enough, I suppose, for someone who has been an ‘achiever’, maybe lived in the public eye, but most of us in the real world have just dealt with whatever life has thrown our way, so we simply leave a hole which probably nobody else can fill hoping relatives and friends will regard the funeral as a time for quiet reflection, sadness and respect.

Incidentally, do you know the original reason for a wake? In medieval times people falling into unconsciousness or coma would be regarded as dead, but it was later realised that such a state was sometimes purely temporary, and so family and friends would gather round the coffin for a few hours waiting to see if the ‘deceased’ would wake up.

Phyllis Inglis

New Milton