Letter: No thank you for the muzak

SIR – Readers of the NMA have voiced their frustration at the loss of high street banks, and in an attempt to speak to a human being, have had the displeasure at listening to the banks’ choice of muzak for hours on end.

Interrupting the “your call is important to us”, a phrase that is repeated to ad nauseam, we are encouraged to use online chat, a ‘service’ powered by AI, where banking executives are of the belief that the ‘I’ in ‘AI’ is an abbreviation of ‘intelligent’. Based on over two years of experience – yes, two years trying to change a mandate – my choice of abbreviation is ‘irrelevance’, because the chatbot replies with answers bearing absolutely no relation to the question you are asking. ‘Intelligent’ it is not.

When ‘AI’ finally admits defeat you are connected to a human being who, pleasant enough, is regrettably not in the department responsible for resolving the issue you have. And thus, you are back into the following movement of muzak, sounding just as banal as the first movement.

Frustrating in the extreme, on-hold times for one of our best known High Street banks can be 150 minutes, although if phoning at 9.01 in the morning precisely, the ‘on hold’ time can be as ‘little’ as 40 minutes. But take note(s).

Those on a limited income are missing an opportunity. High street banks now hand out compensation for poor service like confetti, a credit of £100 merely requiring a letter complaint and a note of the poor service you’ve received. Indeed one bank employee told me they are actually given targets on how much compensation money they give out, such is the parallel universe in which high street banks occupy.

Those with more time on their hands can fare better than £100 – with some persistence, and in not accepting the first offer of compensation can achieve £250 in compensation.

In the universe that I occupy there is an alternative – the Current Account Switch Service, a service in which the high street banks clearly have invested considerable time, money and effort… although to my knowledge, not yet applied the ‘time-consuming benefits of AI’. The efficiency and speed at which one can switch bank, including direct debits, overdrafts etc etc, is as astoundingly good as their service to loyal, long-standing customers is poor.

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